guilty conscience.... :(

So i don't know why i'm writing this but maybe some one will read it and it will help them make wise choices when it comes to pets.
back when i was around 16 or so my mother spoiled me rotten and let me
have as many pets as i wanted. ( at one time i had 4 dogs, 3 cats, 4
birds, 15 beta's, 12 gerbils, 2 hamsters, 1 mouse, 3 snakes, 2 anoles, 4 ferrets, and 1 horse. ) none of which were properly taken care of because i was unaware of the proper care they needed, and
not to mention i was over whelmed. anyways i keep thinking back on all
the animals that had me as a owner and i feel such guilt. back when i had all those animals my mother worked as a
house keeper and one of the ladies she worked for was given a baby
leopard gecko as a prank gift for Christmas. she didn't want it so it
ended up with me. when i got it, it was in a 10 gallon tank with sand
sub strait and a water dish, it came with a small book on how to take
care of them. and from what i remember it never said anything about
under tank heating and mutable hides. so i kept this poor little baby in
sand with only one log hide with a over head lamp on 24-7. i tried
feeding the poor little thing but it never ate. after about a month i
think i remember noticing it was getting skinny i knew i was doing
something wrong so i ended up taking it to a pet store and having them
take him. i hoped they knew how to help him eat better then me. i think
back on that little guy and feel such guilt. i also didnt care for the anoles correctly. the petstore told me to keep them in a screen cage with sand substrate and a water and food dish, they ended up dieing, and then my 4 ferrets i didnt take care of correctly either, they were in a 4 story wire cage with 2 beds, they hardly were let out to play and i fed them cheep cat food (like i was told i could by a pet store T_T) 3 out of the 4 ended up with adrenal gland problems, and because we didnt have money to take them to the vet they got very sick most were bald. at one point i realized that they needed a better life, i was able to find a ferret rescue for them, 2 of them died shortly after... a lot of my beta's died because i only had them in the little cup sized tanks every one tells you to keep them in. there are many sad story's for all the animals i had in my life before i knew how to take care of them.. i have found over the years how important it is to properly
research and know what type of care a animal takes before you get one, and that you should really just have a couple pets that you can put your
time and care into so that they can have a happy life while they are
with you. i only have 1 little dog (a Pomeranian) 2 ferrets and my one
little leopard gecko, and for my health at this time they are all i can
handle because i try and spoil them and give them the best lives i can. i think in a way i am trying to make up for all the suffering i caused the animals i had so long ago by giving the animals i have now the best life i can. i
find doing this is more fulfilling then having many animals and trying
to just keep up with them. i also have found that if you get a animal and its hard to care for that you need to take the responsibility and care for it properly even if you wish you could give it up because it would "make things easier on you" taking the responsibility helps you to learn that you cant run out and buy a animal and then after you get bored with it you get rid of it and go buy another one. animals are not fazes or toys, they are like children and the more they are passed around from owner to owner the more they are hurt and scarred. please take care of the animals you have or will end up getting, and make sure you are willing to take care of them for as long as they live not just until you get bored with them. thank you for reading.

Wow, sounds like you had quite the collection of pets!

What I have to say is that you don't need to feel guilty about the past. Everyone has skeletons in their closets when it comes to pets - no one is a professional animal caretaker until they get experienced. How do you think they get that experience? Through hard work, sweat, and tears. Sometimes it takes longer than others to realize things and, in gamer terms, "Level Up". (I learned with goldfish from the state fairs...that definitely was an unpleasant experience.)

It looks like you tried to get your pets help, too, when you noticed something was wrong. Also, on the ferret note, because of inbreeding and ferret mills *cough*marshall's*cough cough*, many ferrets in the U.S. tend to have some sort of health problem. My ferrets, Ricky, Izzi, and Hoover, all have problems even though I provide the best care I possibly can with them. In fact, Izzi has a little "mystery lump" on her belly - the vet says that her spleen is enlarged but they're not sure why. Even Ricky and Hoover are showing signs of adrenal (the occasional rat tail...fixed with an expensive yearly booster shot for now). Don't feel bad. It can happen to any ferret.

Getting back to the point - the fact that you recognized what was wrong then and how to improve the lives of your pets now is something to be proud of.


Also, did you love your animals then? Were you purposely trying to hurt them? I'm sure your pets loved you as much as you loved them.

Keep doing what you're doing now and use your experiences of your past to keep pressing forward with your animals now. Again, don't feel guilty - life is a learning experience. As long as you learned something, you're doing a great job.

Very well put cerra... live and learn. I see it every day with my work, animal behavior specialist. There's nothing more heart breaking than seeing the disappointed,oh my gawd what have I been doing, look on a dog ownersface when you explain to them how the food they feed is junk to their dogs (but put much nicer than that), or how the owners behavior contributed to their dogs negative behaviors. Its heart wrenching but you realise that these mistakes are usually because of ignorence... lack of PROPER reliable information... for the new pet ower to properly educate themselves. For the minority of owners that just truly don't take the time or care to educate themselves, and the pet suffers thru complete owner failure, those are the ones that should never own pets. At least those that tried, and were fed misinformation, tried...

Don't beat yourself up too badly mystic... the mea culpa, acceptance and admitance of your faults and striving to be better than that now, shows your character. You realise the wrong and you spend the rest of your time in the fancy doing the best you can to poperly educate yourself and others, is all you can do. I hope this is the beginning of a great healing process for you and I commend you for having the courage to stand here and bear all like you have.

Don't feel bad everyone makes mistakes, especially when they are young.

HUGGGGG!!

thanks so much guys! you are all such awesome people ^.^

Hugs for every one!!

I agree with everyone else.
Especially as children we are known to be impulsive, whether its with animals or not. You did your best in the situation you were in.
We learn from our mistakes.

I think this was a great post, and will teach some people a great lesson.

-hugs-